When Two Nerds Fall in Love

In almost a year and a half of dating, Aaron and I have developed a bit of a history of blowing Valentine's Day surprises. His top love language and my second top is the language of quality time so we both enjoy giving the gift of experience that we can enjoy together (See The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman). It started last year when I accidentally saw a text conversation between him and my dad about taking me to a Bluegrass Underground concert at the Cumberland Caverns. Oops. My conscience compelled me to not play along and I 'fessed up at his first mention of a Valentine's surprise. This year I thought I'd scored Girlfriend of the Year when I found out the Punch Brothers are coming to Nashville and bought tickets the minute they were available. Later that afternoon, I was coming out of Beekeeping class when he sent me a text letting me know he was currently purchasing tickets to the same concert. A quick phone call with a cry of "Stop what you're doing!" saved us from the expensive mistake we were within seconds of making. Surprise blown, (he was still excited) I decided to go with another tried and true gift to maintain an element of surprise, the gift of learning. After I took the Clifton Strengths Finder Assessment Aaron was curious to learn what his strengths were. Giving him his own copy with an access code was the perfect gift idea! He gets to learn about himself and the steps he can make to improve, while it's somewhat romantic in the sense that we both learn how our strengths balance out in our team effort. I can learn to love him more by helping him develop his strengths!

    Aaron's first strength is the strength of being Deliberative. This means he puts a lot of thought and time into making decisions while taking potential obstacles into account. Like I mentioned in regards to me being a Relator last week, he is very cautious about those he chooses to become close to. As I've grown to be one of the closest people in his life, I've learned to value the times he becomes vulnerable and shares his concerns, wishes, and goals with me because it's a sign that he trusts me and wants to include me on his journey. He approaches life with a mature, methodical viewpoint for his mere twenty-five years. I love this because it provides me with a sense of stability. We often use the analogy that I'm the kite of our relationship, floating around as the free spirit, while he's the rock that keeps me from traveling too far off the ground.

    His next trait is being very Strategic in his planning and actions. He's creative in how he approaches problems and almost always has a plan B or even C. He then deliberates on the best course of action based on the options he's discovered. As he is both an engineering student and serves as a preacher for his current occupation, this strength comes in handy. Mechanical engineers are faced with many problems in the design process as well as during the implementation and testing of their models. As a preacher, he must overcome the challenge of presenting the gospel message so that his audience may carry the application with them throughout the rest of the week. Just recently, we discussed the possibility of Aaron teaching engineering classes as he has a gift of finding creative approaches to helping others learn. He is currently serving as a supplemental engineering instructor, tutoring other students in his department, and I have certainly benefitted from him taking the time to figure out how I best learn so he can assist me in Statistics and Ag Engineering homework.

    It never surprised me that he was also identified as being a Learner. Aaron is constantly absorbing new information that he can use throughout his life. He's constantly seeking to expand his library as well as his podcast feed. He thrives in intellectually stimulating conversation and isn't afraid to look at something from a new perspective. He gleans the lessons from his life experiences and uses them to mold his future and to counsel those younger than him (myself included). As a teenager, I always thought to myself that I didn't need to date a farmer, I just wanted someone with an unwavering dedication to learning about the farm. He's always asking questions and looking for hands-on experience in agriculture so he can be supportive of this dream of mine. I can best support him in his strength of learning by allowing him quiet time to study and develop his thoughts and by engaging him in intellectual conversation when he needs someone to help him verbally process his new findings.

   Ideation, simply defined as possessing the ability to formulate and present new ideas is another strength Aaron has. He's constantly coming up with new potential business schemes that just might make him successful one day. As an engineer, he hopes to someday patent a tool design for his dad's truck detailing business. He dreams up creative adaptions for commonly owned products that can make them more efficient. While we often joke about some of the silly proposals he's made over the years, (Peek-a-Poo, the diaper with a clear window that allows for easy checking) one day he may just hit the nail on the head with a product design. I can't wait to see what happens when he graduates and has the time and resources to be even more creative. He also enjoys forming new hypotheses and theories about historical and social events he studies. That's part of what makes him such a fascinating person, he challenges traditionally held ideas to determine the truth of the matter.

   Finally, Aaron is a strong Developer. He dedicates himself to serving others with the purpose of improving them. This takes many forms such as his work serving others in the church, helping others broaden their horizons through educational improvement, and simply being one you can trust for deliberative advice. He inspires me daily with his willingness to selflessly put aside work in his extremely busy schedule to help a church member move, counsel someone that needs guidance, set up study times with someone that wishes to seek out the truth of the scriptures, and comfort a family during their time of loss. At school, in addition to teaching and tutoring, he serves as a school representative, and helps host school events. He's a very dependable person and many turn to him first when they need assistance. Rarely does he ever have a weekend free to relax between his own work and the requests of others. He motivates me to improve myself through his selfless attitude and is always willing to take my burdens on himself when possible.

   In am so blessed to have a man in my life that completes me so perfectly! My heart aches for women in the world that don't desire a man in their life. Perhaps they were hurt by men in their past that do not live up to the standards God has set for them as fathers, husbands, and protectors. May our society learn to value and not abuse the protector, provider, and leader instincts God has naturally instilled in men. My prayer is that other women may be blessed with men such as I have been blessed to know that treat women as vessels of honor and "fellow heirs of the grace of life" (1 Pet. 3:7)

"Thanks be to God for His inexpressible gift!" - 2 Corinthians 9:15